Peer Meetings

There might be times when a member of your Group may request to meet with you as their Group Leader for support.

Here are a few guidelines that we’d recommend for these meet ups:

Book in a time

Whenever possible, try to arrange to meet rather than meeting ‘on demand’. This will allow you to be prepared to listen and be fully present with them.

Find a good place to meet

Try to meet in a space that you and the person you’re meeting feels safe. It’s great if you have someone else in the next room or nearby whenever possible. Alternatively, you could meet in a public space.

Only meet with someone of the same sex

If someone of the opposite sex asks to meet 1-2-1 for advice or support, please decline this. You can advise they meet with someone of their sex (e.g your co-leader, if applicable), or meet with them together with a leader of their sex. If you or your co-leader are not able to meet with them, refer them to the pastoral team.

Listen

When you meet, listening is a wonderful way to love and care for the other person. You don’t need to give a piece of advice, or a word of knowledge if you have nothing. Sitting with and listening to a person in the presence of God is enough.

Love with boundaries

On greeting or leaving the person, be careful of making physical contact in a way that may be over-familiar and prone to misinterpretation. If the person initiates physical contact such as a hug out of a place of emotional need, be aware of the cues that can be used to end such an embrace – tapping gently on the person’s back as if to say, ‘that’s enough’.

Pray

Praying is a great way to invite God to minister to people. Do check the notes on prayer for this (see pages 10-11).

When to refer on to Pastoral Team?

You may recognise that the content of your discussion is beyond the limits of your expertise or comfort. You may discern it is best to refer that person onto the St Aldates Pastoral Team. You can do this by directing them to staldates.org.uk/pastoral-care where they can fill out an online referral form. With a vulnerable person, please direct them to the Pastoral Team and inform the Group Pastors in order that we can organise how best to support them. For those with mental health concerns, advise they see their GP, or direct them to the Pastoral Lead who can signpost them to professional support.

Report anything that concerns you (Safeguarding)

Group leaders are counted as trustworthy people who people feel that they can share with. If a person speaks of a danger of self-harm or of harming a vulnerable other (e.g. a child, vulnerable elderly person, person with learning difficulties, a person trapped in a relationship), you must tell them that you will have to break confidentiality and share this information. Any concerns should be reported to the Parish Safeguarding Officers at safeguarding@staldates.org.uk. You can also seek advice from the Pastor supervising your group. You can find out more information and see our Safeguarding Policy here. All our Group Leaders receive safeguarding training – if you need to access this, check out our guide for New Group Leaders.